Cobourg…….we finally made it to Cobourg. It seems like months since we were last in Toronto. We have finally settled into a routine. Although the end seems so far away, in reality, we are only a few weeks away.
Many people ask me what music I listen to on my runs. Many think I listen to up-beat, fast-paced songs. The truth is, the slower the music, the longer I can run. I find it cathartic to be in my own world, alone……just my mom and I. I have been listening to Adele’s song Remedy for the past few days. This song carries a lot of meaning for me.
I knew my mom was sick for months before she was diagnosed. We often argued about her going to the doctor. She refused to go in, even though we begged and pleaded with her. I was angry at my mom for not wanting to find out why her body was changing so rapidly. I felt as though she was letting us down. As I have gone through the healing process, I have realized that I was very selfish in that moment. In my anger and disappointment, I failed to see how worried and fearful my mom was. It wasn’t until my brother’s wedding that we realized how sick my mom really was. We bought her dress months before his wedding day. As the day neared, my mom was rapidly losing weight. Her dress had to be taken in almost three whole dress sizes. How could this be? Little did we know that the cancer was advancing at a rapid rate. When we finally received the news that my mom had stage 4 colorectal cancer, we were all in shock. Although we knew something was wrong, we never expected colorectal cancer. How could my mom have colorectal cancer? We didn’t know the signs and symptoms of a disease that is treatable and beatable. In that moment, we all prayed she would beat it. We were looking for my mom’s remedy. Unfortunately, her remedy never came.
As I listen to Adele’s song, I thank God for all of the “Remedies” in my life. My dad, brother, sister-n-law, nephews and all of my friends. I have been reminded about the true meaning of friendship on this run. My running partner in crime, Natalie, has been running her heart out with feet that are blistered (I mean blistered) and sore. Mary Jo has planned a seamless run and has truly taken us both under her wing. To the little sister I never had, Lauren, for taking care of my 3 children (dogs) at home, I cannot thank you all enough.
As we went through one of our toughest hill days, there were my friends. Waiting for us and cheering us all on. As we hit 14km of a rough patch, my friend’s daughter (Alyson) got out of the car and ran the rest of the way to help push us to our 20km mark. Alyson, you are a true inspiration and I know your dad was looking down proud. To all of my remedies, I am forever thankful. To my mom who helps me through every tough day, I think Adele’s lyrics explain perfectly how you guide me through life:
“When the pain cuts you deep
When the night keeps you from sleeping
Just look and you will see
That I will be your remedy
When the world seems so cruel
And your heart makes you feel like a fool
I promise you will see
That I will be, I will be your remedy” Adele
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